Symptoms of a Broken Heart

This past week has been an absolute roller coaster. As you know from my previous post, the love of my life, after two years, introduced me to what it feels like to be heart broken.

Symptom one – Starvation. I can’t eat! I’m going on 32 hours as of right now without having ate a single bite of anything! Of course, my stomach hurts but the pain from my heart hurts even worse. My appetite has left the building and I have no clue when it’ll ever come back.

Symptom two – Excessive tears. I cannot stop crying to save my life. Everywhere I go, no matter what I do, I can’t help but tear up. Living your day-to-day life with someone for two years makes it pretty hard to find anything at all that doesn’t constantly remind you of them. This may sound pathetic but I started tearing up when I was frying food at work, because it reminded me of how his grandma would always fry her food and how I practically lived there and ate that greasy, yummy food every night. Or when I was at The Yellow Rose (country club and bar) two days ago, we started playing pool and I randomly started to cry because I couldn’t help but remember the last time I had played pool with Austin and beat him like 4 times in a row. Anyway, as of right now, consider me a delicate vase for at any given moment I can assure you, I will bust out some tears. This brokenhearted girl doesn’t need any onions to cry!

Symptom three – Fear of letting go. I want to talk to him SO bad! It is killing me. I want to tell him everything I have done and where I am at every moment of the day. I want to ask him about his day and what all he has done. I want him to tell me he loves me and wants me back in his life. Which leads me to symptom number four…

 Symptom four – Fantasy life. No matter what I think about before I go to bed, I always end up dreaming about him in one way or another. Last night I dreamt that he came back to me, begging me to take him back because no other girl could ever compare to me and I was his one and only. He told me he was a fool for letting me go and that he really did want to live happily ever after with me. Sadly, that dream fell short when I woke up and checked my phone to discover no new messages.

 Symptom five – Intense stalker syndrome. I have turned into a stalker... I can’t help but want to know everything he is doing and where he is at and who he is with. For the past two years, I knew the answers to all of those questions but in the blink of an eye, his life became a blur to me. It is as if we are on Facebook and he blocked me from accessing his life. It sucks and I can’t seem to get used to that feeling. Thank goodness for the internet. A quick youtube search is all it takes to find the best “stalker strategy videos.”

 Simply put, my everyday way of life has changed quite a bit. I feel like my entire world has flipped upside down. Wouldn't it be nice if each and every individual was assigned their own warning label, allowing the victim of love to understand the consequences and symptoms of possible heart break?